Hi — Oscar here.
I wanna talk about stress. It was brought home to me yesterday BIG TIME on my routine visit to the vet.
We cats have a special “rip your heart out” moan (for sympathy) saved just for these occasions.
My person (the doctor) simply turned his CD player to beautiful music … put his fingers through the wire of the cage door and stroked my head. No more moaning. I made it through the experience (expressing an appropriate amount of indignity of course) and on the way home … he did the same.
My person (the doctor) has a really big heart and a very soft side to him. I make sure he knows he is loved — unconditionally. It’s the least I can do.
Made me think how he handles stress — because I know through living with him that he, like you, has his share of stress.
So, I want to share with you how he does it.
I’ve noticed when my person (the doctor) is stressed he’s not his usual bouncy (sometimes really funny) self. He gets quiet and thoughtful.
He then talks to me (’cause there’s no one else around) and says, “Oscar — something is really bothering me and I want you to know I’m not going to blame circumstances or other people for it. It’s up to me to figure it out and either understand it — or fix it.” He has no clue I understand … though he’s been suspicious lately. Like when he says, “It’s bedtime” and I run up the stairs to our bedroom.
Back to how he handles stress ….
He will put on his beautiful music (like Jim Brickman’s piano playing) and begin to write. He writes a list of what’s bothering him — and reasons he thinks ‘why’ and then action steps necessary to remedy the situation.
Then he takes action. Sometimes his action is imperceptible — like closing his eyes and just “being with his feelings” — not suppressing them — just experiencing them until they dissipate. He told me once that this was the hardest thing for him to learn — because of the natural tendency people have to want to keep bad feelings around so they feel justified feeling badly towards someone.
I looked at him quizzically one day — asking him why he felt so strongly about this. He smiled and said, “What possible good can I be to others if I carry all of this useless emotion around?” ”Besides — I feel better about myself afterward — and my troubles seem smaller Oscar.”
Heavy stuff. Humans are so complex and carry so much hurt around.
I feel sorry for them. Glad my person (the doctor) has at least figured some of this out.
‘Till next time,
Oscar
